How to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Let's talk about sex...
Sex is an awesome form of communication within a relationship. It deepens relationships and is a great way to boost your mental health and sense of wellbeing. Yet, it also risks becoming mundane or more of a habit. To refresh that ravishing chemistry you had with your partner, here are the top tips for spicing up your sex life...
Tone Up - Suck & Squeeze
Kegel exercises are an easy way to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which has been shown to improve sexual performance and enjoyment. For women, it improves blood circulation to the vagina which can aid sexual arousal, plus the exercises can make it easier for you to reach orgasm. For men (yes, men) it can improve sexual function, such as erections, orgasms and ejaculations.
To locate the muscles you need to engage for Kegal, imagine you’re having a pee and then imagine stopping the flow for a few seconds – those are the muscles you need. The exercise is to contract those muscles for 4-6 seconds and then release. Do that 3 times. And repeat twice a day. Do these exercises while brushing your teeth… or even standing in the supermarket queue. No-one wil ever know!
The wellness trend this year? Female pleasure - Use sex toys
Sex toys are brilliant for giving you more confidence. Introduce elements of playfulness, spontaneity, novelty and hilarity into the bedroom, kitchen or car. After all, sex is meant to be fun! And now that high street chains are offering sex toys for as little as £1, there’s no excuse not to treat you and your lover to some vibrational stimulation, or to give yourself a helping hand when you’re single 😉
According to a recent study by market research firm Technavio, the sexual wellness industry is growing exponentially and will be worth $32 billion in 2019 (sex sells)! The Global Wellness Summit has also stated that "sexual pleasure brands are strongly aligning themselves with wellness, and sex is fast shedding its taboo status".
And did you know a new survey by dating app Jaumo shows that Brits prefer their sex toys to look realistic, while French and German prefer theirs to be on the large side?
Set the scene - A little extra somethin' somethin'
The joy of sex is often in the build-up (the fantasising). What could be more of a turn-on than knowing that in your bag or briefcase is the sex toy you bought with your lunch? Or that this evening you and your partner are going to give each other a massage. Your day just got a whole lot more freaky! Take turns to suggest something sensual or sexy for the evening ahead. Sext it up (and we don't mean nude pics) message your partner during the day to let them know what you're planning on doing to them later and let the tension build all damn day.
If you're single, plan an evening of sensual activity and masturbation – a date night with yourself, where you plan ahead what to wear, what to eat and who to fantasise about.
Give more - Get Handsy
You know the statement, ‘effort in, reward out’? This certainly applies to sex. Making sure your partner has a great time is really satisfying, so find out what they like sexually – and what they’re not too keen on – and let them know what you adore doing too.
Don't forget to spread the love, to friends as well as partners. Lelo has noticed a trend of women buying intimate products for their female friends, System Jo has some fun, flavoured lubricants which are brilliant for introducing playfulness back into the bedroom or for use if you’re menopausal, and Lovense has an app you can download so you can control your partner’s sex toy remotely – and they yours!
Take the day off - Do Something out of the blue
Whether you're in a relationship or not, plan to take the day off! Clear the schedule, stock up on your favourite foods and some wine, and spend the entire day at home. The whole day can be devoted to pleasure. That's self-love at its very best!
Lucy Beresford is a sex and relationship broadcaster, podcaster, writer and was shortlisted for 'Dating Expert of the Year' by UK Dating awards.
Instagram: beresford.l | Twitter: lucyberesford
